The Art of Balancing Self-Love and Self-Improvement

It has been said in the Hindu tradition that we are blessed with 1,000 gifts. Whether or not this is true, surely the idea of that statement moves us to look at what gifts we do have, instead of the gifts that we are always searching to get. I'm not referring here to the material kinds of gifts, but instead the innate gifts that each individual has been born and blessed with. Can we consider these gifts each of us possess, be grateful for them and commit to sharing them as part of our divine purpose -- while simultaneously improving ourselves both personally and spiritually? I believe we can, with a little practice.

It's natural to want to improve ourselves, whether it's through healing, learning, growing or any other means. Our soul craves new experiences and therefore moves us in the direction toward the change it seeks. Yet our spirit -- our divine self -- knows we are already perfect, whole and complete. In spite of this, we often allow our soul's desire to lead the way and either forget about or simply discount our spiritual perfection within, thereby ending up on a "transformation treadmill" where we are constantly working towards becoming "better." Too much value and worth is placed upon some "future you" and not enough (or any for that matter) on the present you. And in doing so, your self-love, self-worth and self-value forever remain as something you've yet to earn. This dead-end pattern leaves you feeling discouraged and exhausted, to say the least.

It's much less damaging (and much more beneficial) to bring your self-loving spirit into balance and alignment over your soul's desire for improvement. Let your spirit lead the way instead of your soul by reflecting on those very gifts you currently possess. Then, move onto whatever improvement your soul seeks. I have found the best way to do this is by first loving and valuing yourself as you are now. Write down all the gifts, talents, and positive attributes you have. Then begin affirming your value in each one by stating it out loud. Affirmations such as, "I value my gift to encourage others" or "I value my gift of cooking," etc. If you are having a hard time naming your gifts, think about those things you share with others that make you feel good. What can you do that you love to share? What gifts and talents do you have that others appreciate in you? What comes naturally for you? Be mindful not to judge -- that would defeat the purpose.

You can also try meditating to connect with your spirit. If you have never meditated before, you can practice basic meditation with my four principles of grounding, breathing, releasing and receiving. To ground yourself, put your feet flat on the floor and imagine the entire earth supporting you. Next, breathe deeply in through the nose and exhale out through the mouth. As you breathe, imagine you are releasing all tension and worry on exhaling. And once you feel all that has been released, imagine you are receiving your spirit in your body on your inhale. When you are ready, ask your spirit to bring to mind one gift at a time and write it down. Again, don't judge what you receive. Trust your spirit.

The more attention you place on your gifts, the more you begin appreciating and valuing them. As you start to value these gifts, you become much more loving and compassionate toward yourself, leaving any prior harshness behind. Allow your spirit to gently and lovingly guide your soul toward the experiences it seeks. Allow your spirit to lead the way for your soul, not the other way around. This helps you get off the "transformation treadmill." From this self-loving place of your spirit, you can continue your soul's quest toward self-improvement without self-deprecation. You'll find that your journey will be easier and much more enjoyable, too.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-dussault/self-improvement_b_2121992.htm

6 Powerful Ways to Overcome Fear (And Craft the Lifestyle of Your Dreams)

You want to follow your dreams.

You want to live the lifestyle you know you deserve.

Yes, the one you’re secretly afraid of following.

But something is holding you back, or so you believe.

What if I told you that nothing is holding you back?

You’d probably roll your eyes, right?

But it’s true. Nothing is holding you back. You can have the life you want, and more. And in this article you’ll discover how.

1. Listen to Your Heart

You know that subtle inner voice of wisdom that you have?

Yeah, it’ll guide you to your life purpose, if you are willing to listen to it.

The problem is that that wise voice is often covered up by the fearful, doubtful voice. When you calm down and really listen, you’ll know what steps to take.

It’s not easy, but everyone has that internal guiding mechanism.

That means you, too.

So use it.

2. Willingness to Move Forward

You have to be willing to move forward, even when you’re afraid.

You have to be willing to start your journey before you’re ready.

The stars will not align. Things will not be handed to you on a silver platter. You just have to start.

If you don’t know where to start, it doesn’t matter what you do, because all paths will lead you there.

And if you discover that you’re heading down the wrong path, you course correct. In the end, you cannot know if making a mistake now is exactly what needs to happen for you to realize your dreams.

3. Tiny Steps

Fear comes up when you try to do too much all at once.

Yes, dream big, but also be practical. For example, don’t think about starting a business, think about what the next smallest step would be.

What can you do right now to get the ball rolling? Maybe it’s simply starting a blog and seeing what happens. Or maybe it’s calling up a friend who can point you in the right direction.

You know you’ve found the right step to take because it feels doable.

4. Break Free

Break free from the shackles of your mind.

Notice that you are not your thoughts. You may have thoughts of fear, doubt and anxiety, but if you can stay as the awareness behind it all, your thoughts no longer hold the same power over you.

You are not the dance. You are the dance floor.

Never forget that. It’s because of you that the drama of life is possible. Enjoy the fears and challenges in your life, because they are what make life exciting.

And also enjoy the fact that life has a tendency to live itself. You don’t have to figure anything out or control life, because it’ll live itself.

5. Build Presence Power

Anchor yourself in the present moment.

Pretend that you don’t have a past or future, because in reality, you don’t. All you have is the present moment.

Notice what’s here, right now. Feel your body. Be aware of the sounds around you. And tap into the joy of what’s already here.

You already have everything you need to be happy. And when you operate from this place of stillness and peace, your life will change.

6. Perfect Average Day

Last, but not least, grab a pen and a piece of paper and write down what your perfect average day looks like.

Who do you want to be with?

What kind of thoughts do you want to think?

Where do you live?

What do you want to do?

What do you want to eat?

Let go of any preconceived notions and let it all flow.

Get some clarity and let go of fear.

The Takeaway

The most important thing you can take away from this article is this: you are not your fears.

Your fears do not hold you back from anything. No one holds you back from crafting the lifestyle of your dreams, or building a business around your passion.

The only person holding you back is you.

When you can reclaim responsibility for your life, you will be free.

However, most people aren’t ready.

Are you?

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/6-powerful-ways-to-overcome-fear-and-craft-the-lifestyle-of-your-dreams/#more-11890

Importance of Personal Development

Personal development is the act or process of understanding and developing oneself in order to achieve one’s fullest potential. Personal development is a vital part in a person’s growth, maturity, success and fulfillment. It is the foundation of mature personality, better relationship, happiness, success and prosperity.

Unfortunately, however, not everyone is aware of the importance of personal development. It was not given much attention at home, work or in school. People give more importance to academic and professional achievement rather than personal growth. This has caused a lot of emotional struggles that many people go through in life because they lack the soft skills which are crucial to one’s success and happiness. Such lack of self-understanding and principle-centered way of living blocks one’s ability to live an enjoyable and successful life.

I admit that I didn’t know the importance of personal development until I was privileged to attend one personal development training back in 2008. Before that event, I was living my life focused on achieving corporate success in my career as professional accountant. I was eager to achieve career and professional growth that I neglected all the other areas of my life, such as physical health, social relationship, financial growth and stability, and emotional growth. My career-driven lifestyle resulted for me to live a stressful, tiring and boring life. I was easily irritated, I complain a lot and I always see the negative side of things rather than the positive. I was too strong-willed and closed-minded that it was too hard to cross a point with me.

All these attitudes and actions changed when I learned about personal development. The change is what I often refer to as a great “turning point” in my life. Such turning point created so much positive transformation with who I am and how I live my life now. It turned my negative and closed mindset into an open and positive one. I minimized complaining on what life brings, and instead, I started to see life as my own blueprint. I became more practical and realistic that lessens my idealism and perfectionism. I became much conscious on how I spend my time that which helped me prioritize and minimize fatigue. These changes cannot happen if I ignored personal development.

If you find yourself feeling negative all the time, and you can’t stop complaining with a lot of things, I encourage you to start learning and understanding personal development.

Here are some of the reasons why personal development is important:

It helps you understand yourself better
It assist you in creating your goals and life purpose
It guides you in managing and spending your time effectively
It enhances your ability to handle stress, adversity and change
It supports you in managing your finances more wisely
It teaches you to build better relationship with people
It allows you to live a balanced lifestyle
It provides an opportunity to take care of your health.

Imagine personal development is like a plant. If you take care of it by giving it the reasonable amount of water, sunlight and soil, it will grow into a healthy and beautiful tree. But if you neglect it and won’t pay attention to what kind of nourishment it needs, then expect that plant to get dry and eventually die.

Personal development is like how you nurture of a plant. If you don’t recognize the importance of personal development, you will continue living through life’s hard circumstances feeling like a victim instead of a victor. You will stick to your belief that you cannot do something to change and improve your situation. As such, you will continue complaining and being negative with almost everything in your life. You will constantly feel lost with your own life purpose, struggling to find who you are and what you want to become.

But if you open yourself in learning personal development, you will experience a great leap in your life. You will start to become more positive in your outlook, you will be more proactive rather than reactive, you will start to create your life rather than letting circumstance create it, you will be able to find your own purpose and enjoy your life to its fullest.

Remember,

“There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self. So you have to begin there, not outside, not on other people. That comes afterward, when you’ve worked on your own corner.” –Aldous Huxley.

http://daphnegan.wordpress.com/2011/12/20/importance-of-personal-development/

A Guide to Developing a Personal Development Plan

How do you develop a PDP?

Development is a process of expanding, shaping and improving skills, knowledge and interests to improve your abilities and effectiveness.

This can involve developing skills and knowledge that will enable you to move ahead to the next stage in your career but also to expand your breadth of skills and knowledge so that you become more expert in your current post or even to develop a new skill outside work e.g. playing a sport.

To address a development need effectively it is necessary to:

• Define what you want to achieve and set yourself a goal(s).
• Plan the actions you need to undertake to achieve that goal – you should write a personal development plan (PDP) to outline the actions you are going to undertake to achieve your goal.
• Evaluate your development to assess how close you are to your goal and to examine if further action needs to be taken to achieve your goal.

As already noted to develop your skills and knowledge it is important to begin by setting yourself effective goals.

Why should you set goals?

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.
                                                                                         Epictetus

Here are just a few good reasons to set yourself goals:

• To establish the direction that you need to take.
• Provide you with time to reflect on your role and the areas in which you want to develop. You may find that creating time to reflect on what you really want to achieve very useful as you begin to consider what you really want to achieve overall and you may look at the problem or your overall aims differently.
• Motivation is key to achieving goals.  Individuals and teams find goals are motivating as they provide direction and a way of measuring success.
• Allow you to take control and be proactive rather than be reactive to events.

How should you set goals?

Often goals can be very straightforward e.g. I must learn to use PowerPoint by the end of the month as I have a presentation in three weeks. However, sometimes they can be more involved and more thought needs to be taken to identify your goals.

When developing goals ask yourself:

• What do I want to achieve?
• How important is this goal to me?
• What are the factors that will help me achieve my goal?
• Who can help me achieve my goal?
• What are the factors that may stop me achieving this goal?
• What is the gap between where I am now in terms of my skills and knowledge, and where I want to be?

When thinking out your goals you can think of your situation in terms of a SWOT analysis, i.e.

Strengths – what are you good at? In what areas do you make most contribution? What comments and feedback have you received that gives you an indication of how others see your strengths.

Weaknesses – what areas do you feel you need to develop? Have you received any feedback or comments that may suggest that there are development needs in some areas? What aspects of your work do you find relatively easy to undertake and what areas are more difficult to complete? Think out what are the areas you should develop and consider how you can reduce or manage them so that they don’t hinder your ability to achieve your goals.

Opportunities – what is your potential? Are their opportunities that may arise in the University that you could apply for if you had more skills and knowledge in your area?

Threats – is there a great deal of change happening in your area of work that may lead to a change in your role and do you feel you need to develop your skills to ensue that you are able to continue to undertake you’re role effectively.

When you have thought out your goals clearly you then need to develop an action plan to help you achieve those goals.

Goals and actions must be SMART:

SPECIFIC	The goal must state exactly what you need to achieve.
MEASURABLE	You need to know when you have succeeded. Therefore outline as precisely as possible what skills and knowledge you will have acquired when you have achieved your goal.
ACHIEVABLE	The goal should be achievable and within your capacity and constraints. You should not set yourself goals that are impossible or unrealistic to achieve.
RELEVANT	Think to yourself, are these the right goals? Will they help you get to where you want to be?
TIME RELATED	Realistically consider how much time do you need to achieve your goal? Some goals can be achieved in the short-term, some may take a long time to achieve. Setting time related goals will be helpful in organizing your time effectively and breaking down the goal to smaller elements. With long term goals milestones are extremely important to keep you motivated to achieve your longer term goal.

How should you set goals?

In order to put yourself on course to achieve your goals you need to take action. Ask yourself the following:

• What additional knowledge do you need?
• What experience do you need?

To help you develop yourself there are many different types of training you can undertake.

Listed below is a brief selection:

Attending a course	The University and the School of Lifelong Learning have a wide range of courses for staff.
Gaining a qualification	Gaining a qualification can be an excellent way to develop in-depth knowledge of a topic. The University sometimes offers support to staff to follow qualifications that are relevant to their post.
Coaching and Mentoring	You could also find a mentor or coach to help you. A mentor tends to be a more senior or more experienced in a certain field mentoring another with less experience, where as coaching can be two members of staff in which one assists another to examine and find solution to a problem.
Shadowing and delegation	You can get more experience by undertaking a project to expand or attending meetings etc to expand your skills.
Performance Review	The review process is a good way of receiving constructive feedback and working with your line manager to identify development aims and actions to be taken to improve your knowledge, skills and confidence in your work.

Evaluating your Success

The learning process is a cyclical process in which you need to identify your development goal, initiate the action(s) that you need to reach your goal and then periodically you have to evaluate your progress. Taking time to evaluate and reflect your progress is essential to enable you to make necessary changes to your plan. When evaluating your progress you need to ask yourself:

• What have I learnt?
• What more do I need to do to achieve my goals?
• Is my progress too slow or ahead of schedule?
• Do I need any assistance to achieve my goal?
• What’s hindering my progress?
• Do I need to change my plan?
• What additional benefits am I gaining from the process?

http://www.bangor.ac.uk/hr/pdp/HowtoPDPs.php.en

Personal Growth

Perhaps the most important realization that an individual can make in their quest for personal growth is that there is no single formula that defines the path to personal success. We all have different goals and priorities, which means that different activities and attitudes will make us feel good about ourselves. We also have different natural strengths and weaknesses that are a part of our inherent personality type. How then, as individuals, can we feel successful in our lives?

Understand What's Important to You

Each personality type has a different idea of what it means to be successful. Self-knowledge is one common goal that will help everyone achieve personal success. So many people are hung up on somebody else's idea of what it means to be successful, and they are unaware of what is truly important to them. This is completely normal. We all have important role-models and influencers in our lives who may have basic values that are quite different from our own. If this is the case, it's important to recognize that the discrepancy between what we have been taught is truly important and what we personally believe to be truly important is due to a difference in perspective. If we spend our time and effort trying to meet somebody else's idea of success, and ignore or belittle any conflicting messages from our own psyche, then we will find ourselves exhausted and unhappy. Realizing what is truly important to us is a major step towards achieving personal success.

Recognize Your Weaknesses Without Hiding Behind Them

While improving our self-knowledge and realizing our true goals can be very liberating, we should not discard the rules of the society in which we live. We must recognize that other people's value systems are no less important than our own. And we must recognize and accept that we live in a society in which certain personality types and behaviors are more suited towards particular tasks. This is the second key that will open the door towards personal growth.
For example, there are situations in which it is more appropriate and effective to show compassion and caring (Feeling), rather than impersonal logic (Thinking). Likewise, there are situations that call for using impersonal logic to make a decision, in which the more subjective viewpoint of the Feeling function is inappropriate and ineffective. Persons with a preference for Feeling will have a natural advantage over Thinkers in situations that require compassion and awareness of other's emotions. Conversely, persons with a preference for Thinking will have a natural advantage over Feelers in situations that require the ability to make a decision based on impersonal data.
As we learn about our personality type and the types of others, we are empowered with an understanding of why people react differently in different situations. When put into the context of Psychological Type, we can better accept and understand people's behaviors that are different from ours. These insights are extremely useful and powerful to us as individuals. However, if we are concerned with growing as individuals, we must take care not to use personality type as an excuse for our inappropriate behavior. While it's powerful and useful to notice that another person's inappropriate behavior may be due to their personality type, we cannot use the same reasoning on ourselves. We should recognize that our personality type has weaknesses, but we must use that knowledge to conquer those weaknesses rather than to excuse poor behavior. We cannot be responsible for other people's behavior, but we can control our own.
Accordingly, if we notice that someone seems to be unable to make an impersonal decision that is isolated from human perspective, we should say to ourselves, "Ah ha, here is a Feeler. This person does not use Thinking well, and that is why they're behaving this way." Yet when we as Feelers are presented with a situation that requires an impersonal approach, we should NOT say to ourselves "I am a Feeler, and can't be expected to make decisions based purely on impersonal facts and logic." This kind of rationalization for behavior is certainly an easy way out of a situation, but it enforces the weakness, making it weaker and weaker still.

Strive for Balance

Most of the weaknesses associated with any given personality type are a result of that type's dominant function overtaking the personality to the extent that the other functions become slaves to the dominant function. Although it is natural for every personality to be ruled by its dominant function, it becomes a problem when the supporting functions are not allowed to develop fully on their own because they are too busy "serving the master". In such cases, a personality can become quite imbalanced.
A situation in which the dominant function of a personality completely overshadows the other personality functions is analogous to a kingdom that is ruled by an overbearing king who requires absolute servitude. Imagine such a king sitting down to dinner in his castle. He keeps all of his servants running about to bring him dinner, and requires that they serve him fully (disregarding their own needs) until he is completed sated. His Foreign Minister, who is expected at an important affair at a neighboring kingdom, finds himself pouring ale. His Minister of Domestic Affairs, rather than addressing the issue of a failing economy, slices roast turkey. His staff grabs food for themselves here and there, but never get what they really need or want, and are consequently unsatisfied, malnourished, and underdeveloped. The issues that the staff should be taking care of are left undone, because they never finish their primary task of serving the king. The king's immediate needs are being met, and so he is tolerably happy, but he is an ineffective king. As far as he knows, everything and everybody exists simply to serve him. He has no concept of Success beyond his daily needs. Since he cannot see beyond his own needs, the entire kingdom suffers.
Likewise, a personality that has developed with a goal of serving the dominant function above all other considerations often results in a person who is imbalanced. In severe cases, the weaknesses associated with the given type are often quite apparent to others, and overshadow the individual's natural strengths. Such a drastic imbalance is not common, and may be the result of continuous and extreme stress. Most people will experience times in their lives during which they are stressed to the point of serious imbalance. People who experience this constantly have issues that need to be dealt with, and should seek help.
Much more commonly, we see individuals who exhibit both the strengths and weaknesses of their type. It is natural and healthy that each personality type is ruled by a dominant function, and that the other functions support the ruling function. We don't seek to change anyone's natural self, or to achieve a perfect balance amongst a personality's functions. By definition, a kingdom needs a king in order to exist, and a personality needs a dominant function. However, a kingdom with a well-developed and effective king (the dominant function), who has well-trained and educated advisors (the supporting functions), will thrive more than the kingdom ruled by a neglectful king who is supported by inexperienced advisors.
As we can see, Balance and Success are relative terms. They have different meaning for each of the sixteen personality types. One statement using these terms is true for all types: Balance is the key to Success.

Opening the Door

So how do we go about realizing what's truly important to us? How do we recognize our weaknesses, and learn not to hide behind them? How do we become balanced? How do we open that magical door that will show us the way to personal growth and success?
There is no quickie scheme that will make you a successful person. Psychological Type is a powerful aid in our quest for excellence, but it is not the actual solution. It is a model that will help you to expand your understanding of human nature. An improved understanding of yourself and others will help you to find, follow or expand your path. An awareness and acceptance of the fact that one personality function may be more effective than another function in a given situation will help you to understand the relevance of personal growth to your life.
Carl Jung identified a process of personal growth that he called individuation, which is essentially the conscious realization of your true self, beyond the Ego that is presented by your conscious self. Our efforts to help people develop themselves is essentially the effort to help them to realize that their personal perspectives and conscious ideas are only a small part of who they are, and that the more they try to develop and defend this superficial "self", the further they get away from their true Self. This realization helps a psyche in many concrete ways, and is also a positive step towards promoting a psyche that is open to the process of individuation. For the purposes of making this realization accessible to the general public, our writings are mostly void of complex theoretical discussion.

https://www.personalitypage.com/html/personal.html

***8 Ways to Move from Stuck to A Creative Genius

No matter how much we enjoy what we are doing in our life and in our business, there are times when we all find ourselves in need of a creativity jump-start. As many of you know, I'm working on a book to be released this Fall. I greatly enjoy the topic and the writing process, however there are days that I find myself, simply put, feeling stuck.

The other day I shared with you how bringing your uniqueness into everything you do can help you get "unstuck." Here is a list of other tactics that you can use when you simply need a little creative jump-start.

1. Bring an object of beauty into the room in which you are trying to be creative that inspires you. Choose an object of art or flowers that you find inspiring.

2. If you are trying to jump start writing or painting a picture, look outside at the landscape or some bright colors to shift your energy and focus.

3. Read words of inspiration. Find your favorite book that inspires you and open it to a random page. Before you do this, ask for guidance and whatever you need to hear for the day.

4. Look at what you’re working on upside down. A new, fresh perspective can get your mind going. So, turn your paper, notebook or picture sideways or upside down and see what new things you notice and what ideas pop forth.

5. Try using your non-dominant hand. When you try to use your non-dominant hand, it engages the other side of your brain and sparks start to fly!

6. Get up and move, stretch, take a walk. Exercise of any kind stimulates the right and left hemispheres of our brain and helps increase our focus and creativity.

7. Be silent. First you might need to allow your chatty mind to wind down. Sometimes the simple act of first making a to-do list helps the mind and nervous system wind down. Then sitting in some type of silence and meditation helps reach that deeper place and stimulates creativity.

8. Dig deep inside yourself and think about what are you passionate about right now. What is your impulse? What is your driving force? What must be said? What are you aching to say or do? What wants to spring forth? Just start writing your ideas and thoughts. Don't try to formulate sentences or paragraphs or worry about punctuation. Just let the ideas flow freely from you. The simple act of not being confined by writing standards can allow many ideas to spring forward.

Leave a comment and let me know what works for you! It may very well help others as well!

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/8_ways_to_move_from_stuck_to_a_creative_genius

What Does Fear Bring to People?

Fear can cause the downfall of people who want to become successful. One thing is sure and that is the feeling of apprehension cannot motivate anybody. On the contrary, it can have the most negative effects on human beings. No one can rationalize the impact of fear. For as long as you exist, it will be difficult to understand this notion. Individuals, who live through fear, are far from being levelheaded. In fact, your tendency is to disappear or flee if you are afraid of something or someone. Fear can paralyze anyone.

Unfortunately, fear has very adverse effects. It can suppress your logic and positive accomplishments. This feeling reinforces uncertainty which brings about personal decline. There are many people oozing with capabilities who became victims of anxiety. This wears down self-assurance and can result to failure. Fear can compel you to embrace detrimental practices just to cover up suffering and premonition.

Moreover, fear disrupts peace of mind and satisfaction so your life becomes focused on misery. Once you are overcome with trepidation, the tendency is to develop into a lethargic and unsocial person. Your energy will start to decrease causing you to shun other people and avoid productive undertakings. In the end, fear will give rise to mistrust and make you more unstable emotionally and physically.

This is a difficult situation but solutions are possible. It is not beneficial to disregard your fears because these will just lead to more blunders. The key is to deal with the roots and not just the symptoms. It will take you time to do this but this is possible. It is imperative to espouse truth consistently so that the abnormal patterns in fear will be exposed. Life will absolutely become devoid of fear and simple as unswerving sincerity takes the place of dreadful mind designs. It is easy to achieve your goals if you stop being afraid of things and thoughts. When you start to live and think without fear, there will be no more need for conflicts between people and nations. Harassment, injustice, hatred and diseases can be reduced or prevented. Thus, people will be more prudent and work for change. Fear can be erased from your mind gradually. This is the challenge for all humans. This is the time to go into the actual solutions and try to drive down fear if not totally eliminate it. Now is the time to do this task.

http://ezinearticles.com/?What-Does-Fear-Bring-to-People?&id=7358899http://ezinearticles.com/?What-Does-Fear-Bring-to-People?&id=7358899

Who Do You Think You Are?

If you aren't sure who you are, you might as well work on who you want to be. ~ Robert Brault

"Who am I?"

We keep asking this question over and over, some of us for a lifetime; as though it were an itch we can never quite seem to scratch.

If this sounds at all familiar, I have good news for you. Right now - today - you have all the tools you need to answer this question.

First it's imperative that we lay a foundation of understanding; and that is...

All of your experiences up to now, each decision, good and bad, the heartbreak and triumph... each time you made the choice not to risk, and each time you found the courage to try new things and pushed your boundaries to experience greater understanding... you have been creating yourself in the process.

For better or worse, who you are right now is the culmination of all your choices and life experiences up to this point.

Time to Re-frame the Question

Your first step to gaining greater clarity about who you are is to re-frame the question from "who am I?" to "who do I think I am?" because the answers you've been looking for will be found in your stories.

We all have stories we tell ourselves. We tell ourselves we are too fat, too ugly, or too old, or too foolish. We tell ourselves these stories because they allow us to excuse our actions, and they allow us to pass off the responsibility for things we have done-maybe to something within our control, but anything other than the decisions we have made. ~ Eleanor Brown

A lot has been said about the power of self-talk as a way to re-frame our thinking for more positive results in business and life in general. In its simplest terms, positive self-talk can have an empowering motivational effect; while negative self-talk can damage self-esteem and adversely affect pretty much every area of your life.

Where we typically fall short in the discussion is in understanding that self-talk is merely a bi-product of a much larger reality - our personal narratives. In other words, the stories we tell to ourselves, about ourselves.

No matter how positive a spin you put on your self-talk about a particular situation; if it conflicts with the life story you've created, you won't experience the results you long for. Our stories speak directly to how we make sense of our lives and come to terms with our connection to family, friends, society, history and culture.

We tell ourselves stories that explain who we are and who we're becoming... similarly, we tell stories of our past "When I was a kid I used to," our present "I'm having a bad day," and our future "Someday I will..." The details and how we spin daily events and experiences into our stories largely guide us and determine how we see our lives, and consequently influence our perception of who we think we are.

Developing a better understanding of this process requires exploring the stories you are telling yourself now. In other words, how you see yourself as a mother, father, friend, employee, etc. Please keep in mind, whether your personal narratives are true or not, you believe them and then act them out (for better or worse in some cases).

http://ezinearticles.com/?Who-Do-You-Think-You-Are?&id=7357722