Extreme thinking is the culprit behind some of our most self-sabotaging thoughts. It involves the use of absolute words such as "always" and "never".
"I always say the wrong thing." "I never do anything right." "I'm never going to be happy." Are examples of extreme negative thinking.
In the heat of an emotional moment, when you make a mistake, have bad luck, or when life just isn't going the way you hoped it would, you may be in danger of falling into the extreme thinking trap.
"I never do anything right." The thought whirls and whirls through your mind, taunting you. Yet when you look at this statement with a calm and rational mind, you see how absurd it is. There are many things in life that you have done well. Though everything in your life may not have come easily, when you look over your life without self-criticism, you see that there are many things for you to be proud of and many good things that you have accomplished.
Remember Your Positive Self
In a moment of crisis, however, it is easy to forget what you have achieved in life and what you have to look forward to each day. The tension of the moment pushes your mind to extremes; and stress and anxiety amplify this negativity, creating a harsh cycle. Stress and anxiety produce negative thoughts. And negative thoughts increase stress and anxiety.
This is the time to step back and redirect your thoughts as positively as you can. You really must work hard at this, for once the mind starts circling in extreme thinking, it can be very hard to shake the thoughts from your mind.
With some effort and practice, however, you can quickly recognize when you are thinking in negative extremes, and you can remind yourself just how false these thoughts are.
Listen To Your Thoughts
Train yourself to listen to your thoughts in a constructive manner. If you are plagued by negative thoughts, try saying the words out loud or pretend you are listening to a friend say them. What would you tell a friend if you heard him say: "I never do anything right"? Would you let your friend continue to beat himself up? Most likely you would try to reassure him, pointing out his many good qualities, showing him how faulty his current thinking is.
Why not do the same thing for yourself? Give yourself the same hope and encouragement that you would give a friend. Give yourself the same reasurance and point out the same faulty thinking in yourself.
It won't always be easy. But the more you listen to yourself, and the more you encourage yourself, the better you can become at recognizing extreme thoughts for what they are: the false stories you tell yourself in times of stress and anxiety.
Sometimes, listening closely to the stories we tell ourselves is enough to help us move toward a more positive frame of mind. Other times we may need more help. If you are overcome by extreme thinking or you are worried that your thoughts are debilitating or interfering with living the life you want, please seek professional help immediately.
Paula A. Parker is a freelance writer and owner of http://www.behappyzone.com where she writes inspirational articles about finding happiness and maintaining a positive outlook in life.
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