5 Key Ingredients in the Recipe for Your Success

When baking something for the first time, it's often important to have a recipe handy to give you some idea of what ingredients are needed and in what quantities. When working on something new and perhaps bigger than what you've done in the past, there are some essential ingredients to include as well:

INNER DRIVE

Your desire and motivation form the basis of your recipe. Only your decision and your choice will allow you to make the necessary changes and/or take the necessary steps. Why would you push yourself to achieve something that doesn't really matter to you or that you don't really care about that much? So before you go any further, focus on getting clear on what you want, deep down, and what makes it so important to you. It's important here to pay attention to what's important to YOU - not the goals that other people will set for you since they won't be nearly as captivating.

STRUCTURE & ACCOUNTABILITY

Many people have goals that they would like to achieve, but without taking purposeful and persistent action, the likelihood of reaching them isn't likely. And just having the "necessary" information may not always be enough. For example, personal trainers know how to exercise. When they would like an extra push, they will sometimes work with other personal trainers. Coaches also often work with other coaches for motivation, intensity and accountability. It's also very helpful to have someone paying attention to the areas you may be blind to in order to draw attention to areas where you might be sabotaging your success.

POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT

As discussed earlier, your own motivation is the biggest factor of your success. But what about those days when you are tempted to give up? When the challenges threaten to push your motivation aside and you just don't feel like doing anything? What or who will push you to do what you need to do in those moments? Having positive people to turn to who can empathize with you but not buy in to your doubts and negative moments can be enormously successful. Having a personal library with inspirational books, images, newsletters and quotes that you can turn to is also a key factor. Relying on your initial motivation alone is not sufficient.

OPEN MIND

If you keep doing what you've always done and cling to it even when it's not working for you, nothing is going to change. On the other hand, If you really, really want to change things, open yourself up to the possibilities of doing different things and doing things differently. This means not automatically dismissing ideas that don't fit with the way you've always done things. This means not assuming that the way you've always done things is the best way. It means paying attention to your blind spot. You can do this through journaling or speaking with a close friend, coach or mentor who might be able to help you see what you are unable to see on your own. By its very definition, seeing what's in your blind spot can be very difficult to do on your own.

PERSONAL AWARENESS

Building on the previous point, each person learns and is motivated differently. What works best for someone else may not be the right choice for you. Pay attention to where you excel and where you find yourself challenged. Set up the structure and system that works best for you, often a process that is developed through some trial and error. Look at where you are holding yourself back, and try to figure out the real reasons for this so that you can address them and move forward.

With the key ingredients of strong personal motivation + structure & accountability + positive reinforcement + an open mind + personal awareness = increased likelihood of true personal and inner success.

What other ingredients for success would you add?

Visit http://www.heartandsoulliving.com to sign up for your complimentary booklet, "9 strategies to break free of the anxiety that drains your soul - and become the person you were meant to be".

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Why We Keep Commitments to Others, But Not to Ourselves

Last week, I received a call from a former client (let's call him Vince), inviting me to lunch. When we sat down, I asked him how he'd been doing in the year or so since we last worked together.

Vince told me, "I've been doing well, but I've got some challenges. In particular, there are some activities I know I must do in order to achieve my goals, but I'm just not doing them. I'm hoping you can help me push through my own resistance... to myself!"

Vince told me about three specific business-building activities he'd been avoiding. They were simple things, but they were outside his comfort zone. He was convinced that if he were to do these activities on a regular basis, he would see substantial growth in his business and income. What he said next, really struck me...

"I've tried to get myself to do these things," Vince said. "I know they're essential to my growth. But I can't make myself. I'm impeccable with my promises to my clients and others-when I tell someone I'll do something, I do it. But it's so much easier to break promises to myself."

Vince isn't alone. In 14 years of coaching, I've seen this over and over again. People who would never break a commitment to a client, a family member, or friend, have a hard time keeping commitments to themselves. Anyone who has ever resolved to lose weight, exercise more, or change any kind of habit, knows what I'm talking about.

So why is this-why do people so often fall down when it comes to keeping their commitments to themselves? I believe there are two reasons:

• First, the commitments we make to ourselves frequently involve changing some kind of habit, whether it be adding a new habit or getting rid of an old one. We all run our lives by habits, and changing habits is tough.
• Secondly, it's easier to break a promise to ourselves, because our accountability is "self-contained." When we break a promise to ourselves, we may feel we let ourselves down. We can also procrastinate or rationalize our behavior. But when we break a promise to someone else, we let two people down: the other person and ourselves. Plus, we may feel embarrassed and judged or branded as a flake or untrustworthy. What we think about ourselves privately is one thing, but most people dread being seen negatively by others.

So back to my client, Vince. Over lunch, he proposed a 60-day accountability challenge: he would commit to his three activities on a regular basis for the next two months and report to me by text message on a daily basis. And should he fail to keep to his word, he would suffer some penalties. Let's just say Vince put his money where his mouth was. So far, so good-he's been texting me every day and keeping to his commitments.

When it comes to making commitments or taking action, it can really help to have an accountability system or partner to keep you to your word. Some people think that they should be able to will themselves to do anything they want and that anything else is a sign of weakness. I look at it differently: We humans are wired to cooperate and draw strength and support from each other. When we make a commitment to someone else, it strengthens our resolve, not to mention the chances that we'll keep to our word. So, in my book, finding an accountability partner is a sign of strength.

Part of the value coaching provides is having a regular accountability relationship. Every day, I coach people to do the things they wouldn't do on their own. And guess what? 95 percent of the time, they do what they promise. Such is the power of accountability.

Phil Glosserman is a business coach, sales coach and executive coach, who works with business owners, salespeople, executives and other professionals. Since 1999, Phil has coached hundreds of individuals and companies to do what it takes to grow and better manage their business. He is the author of two business/sales books: Sell the Feeling and The Referral Code. Phil's Web site is http://coachphil.com

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