Keep a Journal and Keep Your Sanity

Keeping a journal can be an asset to your mental health. It can save your sanity. Don't believe me? Well, try this little test.

Think about something that happened in the recent past that upset you. It could be an argument, a betrayal, and an angry client. Whatever it is, focus on how you felt; relive the experience.

How did it make you feel? Upset all over again? Well, now trywriting down what happened. Not only that, write down how you felt at the time, what you wished you'd done or said. Vent your anger if you need to. Put all your thoughts down on paper and write until you can't write anymore. Then assess how you feel.

I bet you feel better.

Writing in a journal is a safe place to rant

That's because writing down bad times and frustrations is a great way to release a lot of negativity in a safe environment. No one needs to know you have a journal in which you call your boss every name under the sun. It's your secret, your way of dealing with the negative thoughts and feelings that you associate with bad experiences in the past.

Keeping a journal is also great for coping with future worries. We are often emotionally "stuck" when it comes to past and imagined events. Worrying is a way of trying to deal with the unpredictable future and most of our worries are never warranted. But that doesn't stop them from making us feel unhappy.

Writing down your worries is a great way to focus your thoughts and analyse exactly what it is that you fear, worry about, want to improve or achieve and so on. Writing captures our myriad of thoughts on paper, containing them in a much more digestible way. When we worry, our thoughts tend to snowball and overwhelm us.

Writing gives us back our control. The act of writing puts you back in the driver's seat. After all, we should control our thoughts, not the other way round!

A journal can be your confidante

You certainly don't need to keep a journal religiously, writing in it every day, although it can definitely become a habit once you start. Instead, look on your journal as a means of talking through problems, ideas, hopes and fears without saying anything aloud. It can be your confidante, a nonjudgmental "listener".

Your journal is your private space where you can safely air your thoughts. If journaling ever becomes a chore then you simply need to stop writing in it until you feel the need to start again. Journaling should be something you find beneficial; it should never feel like another task to add to the list!

If you have never kept a journal before, all you need is a notebook and pen or, if you prefer, a Word document on your PC or a file on your Mac. Remember to keep it private; so don't mention your journal to anyone else in your home unless you know you can trust them not to read it.

A journal can lead to something big

I have been keeping journals since I was 12 years old and they are an amazing way to chronicle not only your everyday life, but also your dreams and ambitions. They help you better remember precious moments too.

I don't write in my journal every day and if I am busy I might not write for a week or two at a time. However, I usually come back to my journal because I feel the need to write and it's like returning to an old friend. Give it a go - I bet you will soon be hooked! And who knows - the experiences you write about might become a source of literary inspiration in years to come!

K Hutchings-Olsson is the author and owner of The Self-Help Sanctuary. The sanctuary offers an online haven for all your self-help needs, and is full of information, advice and tips. If you are looking to manage stress, create a successful life, build up your self-confidence or feel healthier in your body, mind and soul, visit The Self-Help Sanctuary and stay a while. You can find it here: http://www.theselfhelpsanctuary.com.

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Rejection: Why Do Some People Fear Rejection?

There are many fears that human beings can have and some of these are classed as real and parts of one's ability to survive and others are seen as self made and have very little to do with ones survival.

And the fear of rejection is often classed as a fear that is irrational and not based in reality. In most cases as an adult, it is unlikely that anything too harmful is going to happen if one is rejected. One's life is not likely to come to an end and they will live for another day.

But while this if often the case and nothing too harmful does take place, it is often irrelevant; because this fear can cause so many problems in someone's life. It can stop them from going towards what they truly want and need and cause them to stay where they are in life.

For these people, it is not a fear that is slightly distressing or has little impact on their life; it is something that is overwhelming. Their life is then defined and ruled by this the fear of rejection.

Frustration

On the surface this is going to have the potential to cause mild, to extreme frustration, anger and hopelessness. There will be some things in one's life that will be put off for a short time and there will be others that are forever put off.

Progress is then something that either happens on the odd occasion or it never happens. And one then ends up being stuck at a certain level of growth and development. To miss out on certain opportunities and chances could become the norm.

This could relate to some areas of one's life or cover just about every area. One is therefore unlikely to feel too empowered or connected to life and the world around them. To see other people go after what they want and get it, might be a common occurrence.

And further enhance their sense of despair and that they have no control over what they do or don't do.

Interpretation

Perhaps one thinks that they haven't got what it takes to go after what they want and that other people have something they don't have for instance. There could be people who tell them to move beyond their fear of rejection and while that sounds easier enough at an intellectual level, it is something that can be far from easy at an emotional level.

This could be a fear that is simply dismissed as just a feeling and that there is nothing more to it. And while it is intended to make one feel better about it and move beyond it, it can just result in them feeling weak and lacking something.

Genders

When it comes to women, this fear might be more acceptable than it is for men. For women it could be seen as understandable and therefore cause them to be given some kind of support or encouragement.

But for men, it could be seen as a sign or weakness and that the man lacks courage. So a woman could end up feeling that this is normal and a man could see it as something to be ashamed off.

Different Areas

And this is going to be something that can affect every area of one's life. If this doesn't relate to all areas and only relates to one, it might not be as bad. And yet at the same time, this one area could impact every other. So it won't necessarily matter how pervasive this is, what matters is how strong the fear of rejection is.

The key area is going to be relationships. And this one's relate to ones career, friends and relationships with the opposite sex. To move up in ones career or to ask for some kind of pay rise might be sabotaged through one fearing rejection.

And the same can apply to one asking for what they want and need in a relationship and speaking their truth. Perhaps one sees an attractive person that they want to talk to or who they know and would like to takes things further.

But in each in each of these situations, their fear of rejection takes over and nothing ever happens.

A Closer look

For the individual that has a fear of rejection that is overwhelming and out of balance, it is highly likely that it is more than just a feeling that they are experiencing. What it could be is a whole body experience and something that consumes them.

And when the feeling of rejection is being experienced or about to be experienced, there is going to be something more to it. Rejection is on the surface and is just one level; what is deeper than the fear of rejection, is that it will mean to this person to be rejected.

Emotional Age

Although one is physically an adult, it doesn't mean that they feel like one emotionally. And this is due to someone being emotionally stuck at a certain age or time in their life. So to look at rejection through the eyes of an adult, it becomes clear that generally nothing to troubling is going to happen.

And yet if one were to look at rejection through the eyes of a child, it is evident that rejection is a matter of life or death. To not receive the right nurturance and attention from ones caregiver, could have resulted in an experience or many experiences that were traumatic.

If these feelings were allowed to be released through their caregivers being emotional available, it wouldn't be a problem. However, if they are not dealt with, they could have stayed in one's body.

So although one physically grows, emotionally they can still feel like they did all those years ago. And whenever one is in a situation where they want something from another, these trapped feelings and emotions will rise up once again. It doesn't matter then what the other person does or doesn't do, as these feelings are inside one's body and will therefore be triggered in one way or another.

Awareness

To look at this logically, it is obvious that one is overreacting and yet if they are still carrying all this emotional pain form the past, then how else would they feel? To engage in self blame or to see oneself as lacking something, is not helpful and it is not accurate either.

They are simply acting in ways that are a consequence of what has built up within them and what needs to be realised from their body. These trapped feelings and emotions can be released with the assistance of a therapist or a healer who allows one to face them and gradually release them.

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

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Letting Go, Moving On

It is time to release the past, to give up that which no longer serves our development, and to reconstruct on a fresh foundation. We're all healers and this is a good chance to transform our experiences in a way that will nurture our soul.

We should not feel guilty for producing a life of happiness. There's no demand to harm thos who have restricted us in freeing ourselves. And in a few cases, we might have to break away from a vocation, a line of work, a relationship, or even loved ones in order to produce the life we wish.

All the same, most letting go isn't typically burning up a bridge, but a great deal of the time letting go is an inwardly job: letting go may imply changing our belief formula, a way we work on emotion, or how we see life.

It is crucial to take stock of our positives and negatives before ever arriving at a decision to let go of the past. I advocate taking out a notebook and putting down lists.

Who and what is bearing upon us positively? Who and what is bearing upon us negatively? If an individual, line of work or family member --even a mate or partner-- is putting us down often, then we might be wise to handle the problem with them and/or either produce change in that relationship or put distance between ourselves and them.

One manner to let go of the past tense is

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