Wayne Dyer - Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

Wayne Dyer has an amazing concept on getting the individual to change their mindset and it's never too late, so I will let Wayne Dyer tell you about his life changing experience!!

Gaining Back Lost Confidence

Gaining back is repossessing something that already belongs to you and was taken away from you by somebody or through circumstance. It may be wealth, trust, confidence, faith among others. One example is gaining back trust from parents who had lost it from you after you did something they did not approve.

Trust is the essential part in any relationship. It takes time to regain it. Trust cannot be taken for granted or misused. When a relationship breaks due to lack of trust, the involved parties should involve a specialist to reconcile them. It is gained through one believing that whatever his or her partner does is right. Having a little bit of doubt marks the beginning of mistrust. One should therefore have enough appreciation and understanding towards what his or her partner does.

Confidence on the other hand is something that ought to be treasured. It is gained through small experiences in life. Many people especially the youth fear and are unable to talk in public just because of lack of confidence. This is mainly because they have feeling of failure, which hit their confidence levels. Confidence is something that one is not born with and thus, one should work towards gaining it.

The following measures should ensure that one gain back confidence after losing it.

1. Consider points in your life where you found out that you do not have confidence and write down. After writing them down, try to work on them to improve the confidence levels.

2. Do an examination of your confidence. Being honest ensures that one stand by his or her points and is confidence enough to prove and defend them. Lies and dishonesty makes ones conscience judge him or her thus low level of confidence in oneself.

3. Ensure that you associate yourself with good and positive people. These make one to appreciate their nature and character thus building confidence to them. For instance, dealing with professionals makes one view himself or herself as a profession thus gaining professional confidence.

4. Volunteer your time to do something that builds your confidence e.g. volunteering to counsel young people on the effects of drug abuse. This builds your confidence in addressing the public.

5. Seek advice and guidance from professional and qualified people. They give one enough information on how to improve their confidence levels.

6. You should set realistic goals that are achievable. This makes one confident that he or she will accomplish them.

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7 Methods to Achieve Balance and Self-Control

In order to apply the concepts of balance and self-control in your present life, you should first consider this: Did you choose the situations you were born into?

Did you have any say in who your parents were, the kind of home you grew up in, or the circumstances that shaped you genetically, geographically, economically, or emotionally?

Perhaps in your own life, you would say that you grew up in an environment that lacked a sense of balance; or that you feel you have grown into a person with little or no self-control when it comes to your cravings, indulgences, your temper, words and your actions.

None of us chose the situations we were born into. But if the particular circumstances of your upbringing, or the life you are living now makes you realise that you need more balance and control in your life, the good news is that your future can be very different from your past.

Provided, of course, that you are committed and willing to open ourselves up to the process of self-improvement and change. There is no "quick-fix or a magic formula" when it comes to the work of human cultivation.

Cultivating self-control and gaining a sense of balance and control over your life is a journey and an ongoing process that requires time and effort, self-analysis, and gradual growth.

When this seed that represents your potential is well-sown, and properly tended and nurtured, it can become a strong fruitful tree.

And once you are committed to taking action and to long-term achievement, it becomes clear that there are many things, going forward, which we can now choose consciously or do differently in our lives.

Here are some of the methods and the realizations which have helped me in achieving increasing levels of self-control and overall balance in my life:

• Own your power and understand who you are: You are a valuable human being and a unique individual-a valuable human being separate from the perception of others, a person with the ability to think, to reason, and to evaluate information for yourself.

• Recognise that your choices decide what direction your life can go in.

• Understand that everything does not have to be complicated, complex and difficult for it to be worthwhile and true. In most cases, common sense and simplicity are the shortest paths to our goals.

• Learn to stop wasting your valuable time and energy by fretting over the things you simply cannot control-weather variables, traffic and crowds, taxes, the behaviour of others etc. Instead, you can resolve to try to calmly accept the things you can't change.

• Realise, (this being a gradual and a continuous process), that it is inevitable that there will be setbacks, challenges and frustrating periods in every person's journey.

• And because we all have faults and flaws, we will benefit from learning to exercise understanding and patience when dealing with the people we come into contact with, while realizing that it will not be possible to get along with every person or to please everybody all the time.

• The only thing we can do, therefore, is to concentrate on our own selves and to focus on our self-improvement. And of course, we should practice, and keep practicing.

The more we practice these steps, the more readily we will find ourselves feeling more in control of our own lives.

We will also find that we greatly increase our levels of self-control; and feel that we are achieving more and more of a sense of balance in our lives. As a result, we are likely to find our emotional load lightened, and ourselves calmer, happier, and healthier human beings.

S.A. Abraham writes from a world perspective, having lived, studied and worked in 3 Continents. Born in Africa (Ethiopia), she holds an LL.B in Law from London, UK; and has developed a keen interest in Human Behaviour, Psychology, Health and Wellness, the Holy Scriptures and Spirituality, as well as Eastern Philosophies, History and Current Affairs. She has been practicing Wu Style Tai Chi Chuan since 2005 and lives in Toronto, Canada. For free tips and ideas on the search for a better life, self-knowledge, discipline, progress and empowerment, visit her Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Keys-That-Open-the-Way-to-Inner-Peace-and-Empowerment/419282631501594

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Self Reliance

What is Self Reliance? How do You Gain Self Reliance?
A basic definition and explanation for the average person seeking self improvement.

I sometimes read passages and ideas that seem original and not repetitive of anyone else’s ideas written or spoken previously. As the reader you or I sometimes hear an echo in those original ideas of our own sense of values. The only difference may be that someone else has thought to write it down and thus record those thoughts and values as their own. Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote of self reliance; “to believe in your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men, -- that is genius”. For anyone to state their personal belief as though it is or could be the belief of other people transforms their personal truth into becoming a more universal truth.
Transversely in every work of genius we may recognise our own rejected thoughts. They come back to us with an oddly alienated recollection, we say to ourselves “I thought that once”. This teaches us to rely on our original impression or else tomorrow another person will say with authority precisely what we thought or felt today and we will be forced to humbly take our opinion from someone else. Although the world is full of great ideas nothing can satisfy us as much as our own thoughts and conclusions. No one but you knows what original thoughts you are capable of. There is power within you to be new and original and it can only be realized and executed by your own will. To half express yourself or to feel shameful of the great theology which only you can represent is, indeed, to fail yourself.

The Effort to Gain Self Reliance

You will be joyful when you have put your heart into your work and have done your best. You may have had this experience at some time in your life. But to give less than your best efforts will not give you that same feeling of satisfaction. You might then lose faith in yourself and in your abilities should what you set out to do or say be left incomplete. Trust yourself. Great men have always done so. Just as children are fearless in accepting their own ideas you can shine as brightly and freely in your original thoughts and embrace a youthful enthusiasm for your own exceptionality. We should make efforts to not allow intimidation or internal doubt to stifle our own good ideas or prevent us from sharing our inner brilliance with others.

Forms of opposition will always arise. People sometimes busy themselves with evaluating the weight of their opposition to an extent that they may doubt the strength their own truth. Even if your message is lost in language barriers it is no less valid. You may have the strength to deliver your platform to your own group but falter with a different audience. This is not the fault of your beliefs or convictions. Communication barriers can be overcome. As your own truth is repeated it will become clearer and more defined;, recognisable even to those who did not hear it the first time. By focusing on our inner strength and positive feedback we can find the inner strength to become and remain true to ourselves building our self reliance.

One Voice in the Crowd

I have been referring to those voices one hears in the solitude of their own heart. Self reliance thus becomes the enemy of conformity. Society would have us each assimilate to the greater ideals and to lose our own self reliance to a greater concept. To follow your own voice fearlessly you may be labelled a nonconformist but nothing will ever be as sacred to you as the integrity of your own voice. To know your inner voice and not confuse it with any other voice is to develop and know a higher self. To live wholly from within is to come to know your truest self. Following what you know to be right regardless of what influences come from society or colleagues will ground you to your own sense of goodness. This is the development of your personal values.

Your Goodness Must have Some Edge To It

Society may present you with laws and guides; but if they are in conflict with you your own inner decency must have a greater voice. If in your mind there is no goodness in the publications of others do not bend for the sake of acceptance. Stand firm to what you feel is in the right. Be open to discussion and yet as clear as possible in your own communications. If a cause or idea is constructed out of fear or hatred and you recognise it to be that way and not born from goodness you should neither let it taint your own good virtue or allow it to silence your goodness with fear or hatred.

The greater task will be to recognise what is of concern to you. There are always going to be those who feel they know your duty better than you know it yourself. You will feel your own inner strength when you can stand independent in your own thoughts in the midst of the crowd. Do not expect to be understood by all and do not think that those who understand you today will understand tomorrow or that those who do not understand today will not understand tomorrow. Everyone has their own voice and their own experiences. Self reliance involves trusting in your own voice and your own virtue even in opposition by one or by many.

The Ones Without Self

Men may become meek and apologetic who lose themselves to the crowd. You will not know happiness and inner strength if you surrender those things to the crowd and lose your own individuality. Should you adopt the view of the greater voice without also firmly having a voice of your own you may easily be drawn into the mentality of the mob. When the mob voice is heard within a person louder than their own inner voice the whole world will appear to be in conspiracy for lack of individuality. To be in the crowd yet build your inner voice and your inner strength as an individual who recognises right-mindedness you will not be devalued in your time.

Your inner voice, your virtues, and your self reliance are things that grow within you. It is up to each individual to nurture them within their own experience and protect them from corruption and negativity. They are yours alone not to be diluted in the press of society. Be yourself, speak your truth, and trust yourself and self reliance will become and remain a great part of who you are. This is needed to recognise the strength that lives within you and keep it firmly there by your own goodness and your truest voice. By this practice you will find your inner self and develop reliance in your own worth.

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